The Battle of Yesterday and Tomorrow Against Today.

“You live in the past and the future, you spend no time in the present,”

My younger sister said this to me the other day and it really struck a cord with me. I think part of the reasons this resonates with me so much is because in no way was she aiming to be philosophic or pensive, we were simply having a general conversation over some Ice Caps (a Canadian delicacy consisting of blended iced coffee and cream, like a Frappuccino only better and cheaper) and she made an observation. Now, as an older sister I never ever tell my younger siblings when I agree with them. In fact in my mind none of my siblings have ever been right. Still,I'd be lying if I said this sentence hadn’t left me thinking. I'll admit I do spend a lot of time thinking about the past and future. Especially the future, but I’ve never thought this was something other people were able to pick-up on. I tend to (sometimes obsessively) plan my life out. I’m a notorious list maker but I’ve always seen this as being the only viable option. If you don’t have everything planned out, how will anything happen? How can anyone be expected to reach success without planning out his or her entire journey? I mean yes, being goal oriented is definitely a concept I’d associate with myself. And sure, often my goal orientation leads me to ensuring every action I take and every decision I make results in me reaching my goal. And maybe, when things go sour I reflect on the past decisions semi-obsessively and analyze where they went wrong and how I can reassess these decisions and determine success is achieved in the end, but is that so bad? In my eyes, like I would imagine, in many other these are in no way a fault, in fact many would see them as  extremely positive characteristics in moderation (wouldn’t they?). But, as I’ve come to realize life is made up of little nows and if I spend all my time thinking about tomorrow and yesterday is that not a wasted today?

            

I’m saving money for a rainy day, I’m getting the best education possible because this is supposed to benefit me in the long run. These are both great and responsible things. I bet in ten years twenty-nine year old Salma will look back at these decisions and she will be so grateful that nineteen year old Salma was responsible and level-headed and made realistic adult decisions. But what is nineteen-year-old Salma doing right now that makes nineteen year old Salma happy? What current actions am I taking that will cause nineteen-year-old Salma to pause and think “God I love my life,”

I want to spend more time thinking about how happy I am right now and less time thinking about how happy I will eventually be. I am aiming to; no I will start making my moments count. I mean sure, planning for tomorrow is important but eventually we will all run out of tomorrows and all we will have is today. Right?