Saturday Night

  

It's a Saturday night. 

It's a Saturday night and I am sitting in a room where the only light illuminating is that from my computer screen.

It's a Saturday night and as I reflect upon myself and my major choices in life I can't help but feel I've mistreated you, I've been unfair to you. Fine, I can completely come to terms with that. I am inconsistent, unreliable and a little bit neurotic. I spend so much time wallowing in self-pity and deprecation I forget that there is a world outside the little box I've built around myself. I acknowledge this.

It's a Saturday night and I am unsure if I have a million feelings, or none at all. I can't look past this major uncertainty and I can't help but feel like everything I once viewed as entirely secure is unraveling. My life is slowly but surely becoming unrecognizable, my grasp on sanity is loosening and all I want to do is nap. Nap and take on the next adventure. 

It's a Saturday night and I can't help but wonder if things are ever good or bad. Maybe they are just things? Life turns around so quickly, once you've settled onto something everything around you can change. Or worse, it can stay the same. And are good and bad just not constructs we've established? What merit do they hold? Maybe I am good, maybe I am bad. Maybe I am neither good nor bad, I just am.

It's a Saturday night and I am pondering what in my life is good and bad, I am questioning my feelings whilst reflecting on my decisions all the while sitting in my dark room wondering if Saturday Nights should be filled with so many thoughts.