Friday, 14 February 2014

Shall we speak?

Remember when I said i was unsure of how personal I wanted to get on this blog? I’ve decided. Not by formulating a concrete decision, but out of desperation. 
I’m upset. 
Warning, this post has nothing to do with my exchange I just really want to talk. Second semester is about to start and I don’t think I’m ready. Not in the sense that i am unprepared for school. But more so that I can not bring myself to be surrounded by people smiling, laughing, hugging enjoying themselves. It’s not that i disprove of people being happy. It just reinforces my unhappiness when i realize how happy others are (or can at least pretend to be). 
It’s so much easier to waste away on tumblr not facing reality. 
I just hate how uneventful my life is. I don’t have exciting stories, or cool events. I go to school, i go to work. I go home (and in between these events I tend to cry). I’m telling myself this semester can be different if I let it. But we will see. 
I hate telling myself that because most of the time it isn’t … and we know how i feel about false hope, or hope in general really. 
Talk to you soon my non-existant readers. 

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