Hoping for the best but expecting the worst

I had my interview three days ago. Its all I’ve thought about for the last forty-eight hours. It went well i think, in fact I left there all smiles thinking it went fucking fantastic. For the first twenty-four hours following my interview I was sure I was going to go on the exchange. I started planning out how I’d tell people, envisioning where I’d be when i got the acceptance email. But then it hit me, 

Everyone who applies gets an interview. 

So really, theres nothing to be exceptionally proud of, I didn’t earn an interview, i didn’t deserve an interview, i got one because everyone gets them. It’s a formality.  It doesn’t make me feel reassured at all. I mean sure, I had a great time during my interview, I laughed, the two interviewee’s laughed. There was an endless amount of laughter and genuine smiles shared. I loved it. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they loved it. Maybe they were just being pleasant to move the interview along. I really don’t know what to expect. 

I scoped out the competition a bit. One girl applying to Australia before me, a girl directly after me who was also applying to Durham and a final girl applying to Australia. Those were it for the day. The two girls I met first were extremely pleasant, in fact the girl also applying to Durham seemed so nice i hope she gets in too (I just hope it doesn’t jeopardize my chance), the final girl however seemed a bit … icy. Still, that might have just been nerves . What I’m trying to express here is that each of these girls likely had the same pleasant experience as me (except maybe eyebrows the ice queen). They probably laughed and smiled just as much as I did, if not more. So, why should i feel confident? Its not like I did anything outstanding. I just showed up .

Regardless, the interviewees (who were so lovely i still can’t believe it) told me I’d hear of my nomination in two to three weeks. My goodness, its getting close folks. I’m hoping things turn out well but who knows what will happen. 

xoxo